Aphorisms

If there is one thing I learned from Neitzche, its this aphorism:
1. When you want to make a claim look profound and obviously true without argument (even when its clearly false in any other context), just put it in the form of an aphorism, and people will buy into it.

I guess Wittgenstein also taught me this.

So let me spout off a few aphorisms I developed from the show I went to last night:

1. If you are a true metalhead, when you headbang, you don't nod your head, but shake it back and forth. Why? Because its not metal to say 'yes', and that is what nodding your head is doing. Shake your head back and forth because "No" is much more metal.

2. Watching a local band is like going to Good Will. You will either be pleasantly surprised by finding something awesome, or you will be pleasantly surprised by finding something that is so lame that it is awesome.

3. It isn't 'live music' if there isn't a drummer. Its karaoke by the original artist.

4. 'Disgust for the Weak' is a metal as fuck band name. But the band is not metal as fuck.

5. Being popular with the trendy kids costs you a lot of money. Being popular with indie and scene kids is easier: You just have to say something bad about George Bush.

6. You are only a good live band if every question you ask the crowd is repeated a second time with the preface 'I can't hear you [city or club name]!'

7. When your favorite band goes on at a show and instead of listening and watching them you take pictures of them on your digital camera the WHOLE SET, it pisses me off. So don't do it. One or two pictures, OK. For the memories. I get it. But when you spend the whole set doing it, you clearly don't even like music.

8. Autographs are still stupid. Your favorite band, actor/actress, athelete, whatever--they are just human beings. What do you prove by having them write their name on something?

Dillinger Escape Plan is REALLY good live. And their new CD is great.